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Their Here!

I am sure that many of you have heard about the recent string of laser beams being aimed at airplanes while in flight. Actually as they are close to landing. Well here is my theory, it isn't terrorists or jackasses with nothing better to do than to play with new Christmas toys, or St. Elmo's fire. It is Aliens...they are here and they want to a)communicate; b)Fuck with us; or c)find out why we use fly in such crappy equipment. I read this article that explains what has been happening this past week with the whole laser beam incident. Here are my theories explained a little better:

Communication
I believe that they have been trying to communicate with our planet for many years but they for some reason or another get scared off by how humans here on earth panic at the sight of their strange looks, flying saucers, crazy lights and such. They are curious, they want to know more about us and how we function here on a different planet. They want to study what makes us survive, social interaction of all the different cultures of our world, and how the world functions as a whole. Don't you think that if we found another world out there that we would try to communicate with it and find out all about how they function and what they do and their survival skills, what their world looks like, etc. Think about it, massive amounts of money are spent trying to discover Mars(a planet just a hop skip and a jump away from here) and there could be so much more out there (beyond our wildest imaginations) that is yet to be discovered. I think we would spend the money trying to find it if we could.

Fuck With Us
There are a lot of people out there that claim to have been abducted by aliens, taken aboard their spacecrafts, poked, prodded, violated, and the whole nine yards. Isn't it a possibility that they are doing this for sheer enjoyment? Think about it. We get bored sitting around here on earth with all of our glorious technology, wouldn't it be fun to zoom to Planet Tiberon and screw the people there. Here is the senario: Drew calls Jay, "Hey Jay, I'm bored, do you want to go bowling?" "I am tired of bowling every Saturday. How about a road trip? Lets go fuck with those guys on that new planet we discovered. I can dry hump their legs and violate them like I do to you," replies Jay. "OK" Drew agrees. Its plausible, don't you think.

Our Outdated Equipment
All of the stories since Roswell are filled with the theory that aliens are much more advanced than we are. Apparently the metal that was found in the Roswell crash was unbendable, but light as a feather. Those who have been taken claim that the spaceships that they board are made of nothing that they have seen before. It is possible that their technology is so far advanced into our future that they are baffled at how we can still use the equipment they tossed in the garbage 1000 years ago. Maybe they are trying to share their technology with us. They want us to know that even though we think that we are more advanced than ever, we are actually really all stupid.

Think about it, the universe goes on forever. Isn't it fathomable that we aren't the only planet with functioning societies.
posted by Jenna Friday, December 31, 2004

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